Life In the Shadows: When the System Becomes the Abuser

We are led to believe that institutions can be trusted.

We are told they will protect, guide and care for us and that they are there to support our children, our family and friends and our elderly relatives.

But what happens when those very systems - the care homes, schools, hospitals, police, prisons, religious bodies - what happens when they become the source of harm?

What happens when the system becomes the abuser?

This is the painful, and more often than not, the hidden reality of institutional abuse. Whilst it may not always leave visible scars, the damage can be profound, long-lasting and never truly resolved.

Today, we start a conversation that we will continue coming back to.

Today we will open the door to speak the truth about a reality that is kept quiet, and in doing so, we hope that it will begin a dialogue for those who have suffered at the hands of their supposed protectors.

First and foremost though - what is Institutional Abuse?

Putting it simply, it is harm inflicted by people in positions of authority on those they are meant to be looking after or supporting, and it can involve any one of, or a mix of the following:

• Physical or emotional abuse

• Neglect of basic care

• Dehumanising routines

• Sexual abuse

• Misuse of power

• Retaliation or silencing of whistleblowers

This abuse is not always inflicted on one person or even by one person.

It can be a culture that thrives within a specific environment, and without action taken to stop it, the abuse continues until someone speaks out.

Unfortunately, with this kind of systemic abuse, it can be difficult not only for the individual/s being abused to speak out, but also for anyone who is witness to it.

The fear of retaliation is high, and if you are already vulnerable and subject to the whims of someone who has no qualms about hurting you, sometimes it can seem better to 'put up and shut up' than to rock the boat.

We regularly hear about institutional abuse cases in the press - usually historic and usually involving several perpetrators over years and years.

The good news is, they are being taken a lot more seriously now than they had been previously. The bad news - we are still nowhere near where we should be as a country in protecting those most exposed to this type of abuse.

More often than not, a large number of victims belong to some of the most vulnerable people within our society, and the ones least likely to speak up.

This type of abuse is common with children, the elderly, those with disabilities and those with mental health needs.

Abuse within these victim groups is more common than any of us care to admit, but as long as we choose to ignore it, things will never change.

When we are talking about Institutional Abuse, its important to remember that this is specific to certain settings, and different to the abuse someone may experience from a family member, partner or friend.

It can happen in any formal care or authority setting including any of the following:

• Care homes and assisted living facilities

• Children’s homes and foster systems

• Schools and boarding schools

• Prisons and detention centres

• Hospitals and mental health institutions

• Religious organisations

Be aware though - this list is not exhaustive.

Anywhere there is authority can carry a risk of abuse, and many of these places will silence any accusations without proper investigation.

Because these are places that we should all be able to trust, whether for ourselves or someone we love, this kind of abuse really does strike to the very heart of a community when it becomes public.

It is a betrayal at an almost visceral level, and a trust that may be impossible to restore for years after the perpetrators have gone.

For many survivors, it can be decades before they speak up, if they ever actually do.

Many may have tried whilst the abuse was happening, but to protect the institution they may have been ignored, dismissed, or the abuse covered up as if nothing ever happened.

Reputations can be guarded at all costs, and unfortunately this means that sometimes, even the worst types of abusers are protected to avoid the fallout that comes when accusations of abuse are made public.

The culture of silence is an insidious one, and abuse will regularly survive for years not because of the action of the abusers, but because of the silence around it.

From excuses like "We don't talk about that here. They have a history of issues - don't listen to them," or "We've dealt with it internally," - choosing to ignore systemic abuse for the sake of reputation has to change and speaking out must be encouraged.

Silence protects image and not people, and it needs to be shattered.

Change is happening but it's slow, and to see those in vulnerable settings protected, we must all demand much more from the institutions set up to protect societies most defenceless individuals.

From transparency and full accountability expected within any setting, to whistleblower protection and independant investigation, its time we begin to replace the silence we see regularly within these environments with honest, open and uncomfortable but necessary conversations.

This isn’t the end of the conversation — it’s the beginning. Over the coming months, Shatter the Silence will continue exploring how abuse is allowed to exist in trusted spaces, and how we begin to dismantle those systems — not just for survivors today, but for those yet to come.

Until then, we will keep saying what institutions often won't:

If you were hurt in a place where you should have been safe — a school, a hospital, a care home, a place of worship — know this:

It was not your fault.

You are not alone.

You deserved better.

You still do.

If we can help you, get in touch with us via the contact form on the home page, over whatsapp on 07922 562752 or at shatterthesilencene@gmail.com

If you want to speak to someone else about your experiences, check out our contacts page or call one of the numbers below:

• NAPAC (National Association for People Abused in Childhood) https://napac.org.uk 0808 801 0331

• The Survivors Trust https://thesurvivorstrust.org

• Mind (Mental health and trauma support) https://www.mind.org.uk

• Suzy Lamplugh Trust (Personal safety, stalking, victim advocacy) https://www.suzylamplugh.org

Lets work together to shatter the silence and stop the stigma of abuse.