Simple Self Care - Small Acts of Self Love

Every Sunday, we take some time out to look at small acts of self care and the difference they can make in an environment that is complicated and difficult to navigate.

Self care doesn't have to be an expensive spa day or a trip out with friends.

It can cost nothing and mean everything.

The point of it is to shift the focus for just a short while onto you as a reminder of who you are and what you deserve. The more you remind yourself of your value, the stronger you can become.

You just have to start.

This week we are looking at three more things that can really help you to feel just that little bit better.

Preparing Food - Why It Matters

Within an abusive environment, eating can quickly begin to feel like a chore.

Although there may be other family members to cook for, looking after everyone else and neglecting yourself can very quickly become a daily practice, and not only does this impact on your physical self, (energy levels and health), it will also take a huge toll on your mental health.

Food is more than just fuel and nutrition for your body. It can connect you to all of your senses and create or remind you of memories.

When you cook, you are experiencing those moments not only with your taste buds, but with the smells, the sounds and the touch of the ingredients. It is an incredible sensory experience, especially when you are cooking something for yourself that you enjoy.

Taking the time to prepare and cook for yourself when you find it hard to understand why you deserve that kind of care and attention goes way beyond hunger.

It strikes at the very core of self care. You are telling your body, and by extension yourself that inspite of what is going on - "I am still going to care for you. I haven't forgotten you and you still matter."

There is a quiet dignity in cooking for yourself, whether its a proper meal or just something light. It's not about how fancy it is.

Its that moment you have reclaimed to care for yourself. To choose something that serves you, and in those moments - healing truly begins.

Stepping Outside - Why It Matters

One of an abusers strongest tools is their ability to isolate you. Whether it is from family, friends, work colleagues or the outside world, they will slowly and methodically remove you from environments that stand against them, leaving you totally dependant on them.

Your world become small, dark, claustrophobic and restrictive.

Stepping outside can change those feelings dramatically, even if only for a short while.

Its a gentle reminder that the world is still turning and you are still a part of it.

Fresh air and gentle exercise has been proven beyond any doubt to be exceptionally important for good mental health. It softens the weight on your chest, allowing you to breathe and feel the breeze on your skin.

Seeing the sky, feeling the wind and hearing the sounds of life can be a reminder of who you really are, and what the world can offer you when you are ready to step away.

You don't have to walk for hours. You don't have to travel for miles to get somewhere. Just stepping outside and walking for 20 or 30 minutes around where you live can be enough to break the isolation and open up your world again.

It is a reminder that there is so much more than what you are experiencing right at your fingertips, and that you are allowed to have a life that exists beyond fear, panic and pain. You are connected to something so much bigger than what is hurting you so breathe it in and let it give you strength.

Tending A Plant - Why It Matters

When the world around you is isolating, frightening and panicked, the simple act of looking after something that requires you completely to survive can be incredibly therapeutic.

There is a quiet beauty in watching a plant thrive even under the most normal of circumstances, but seeing that growth in an abusive environment is a gentle reminder that growth is always possible, no matter what. That something you care for and about can thrive no matter what is going on around it.

It may not play ball like a dog or run around laughing like a child, but that quiet life is the epitome of determination, commitment, single-mindedness and survival.

It is hell-bent on not just surviving, but thriving, and in doing so, a reminder that you can do the same.

You just need to keep looking after yourself and building your strength until you are ready to leave.