Simple Self-Care - Why It Matters

Every Sunday, we are looking at simple acts of self care that allow you to take some time for you. No matter how small or insignificant, there are so many little things that you can do that will help you to feel like you have taken back a small amount of control over your body and your life.

Within an abusive environment, even the smallest of tasks can feel insurmountable, but making yourself do them can have a huge impact on how you are feeling that day.

Taking a shower or a bath - Why it matters

It might seem like such a basic act, and for most of you, it will be something you do without thinking about it, but for someone in an abusive environment, it can become yet another huge hurdle they have to jump in an already incredibly difficult day.

One of the earliest signs that someone may be struggling is their personal care, especially if they have always looked after themselves really well.

Unwashed hair, no makeup if they wore it before and just a general disinterest in themselves could mean that something is going on.

The importance of a bath or a shower is not just about getting clean though. It becomes a way of reclaiming your time, your body and your worth.

Hot water has a way of softening things, from the release of tension in your body to clearing the noise in your head, even if its just for a brief period of time.

Whether you are standing in a shower or lying in a hot bath, this is time that is all yours, away from what goes on outside of the bathroom.

It allows you to stop, to breathe and to begin to feel like you again, even if its only for a brief period of time.

The importance of this time lies not just in the act of taking care of your physical self which is important for self confidence and esteem, but also in the fact that it is a choice you have made specifically for you.

When control is being taken away from you, this allows you to take back a tiny amount and remind you that you are still you, and you are still here, no matter what you have been told.

Healing begins with those quiet reminders in the few moments you get to yourself that yes, you still matter.

Yoga - Why it matters

One of the hardest things to cope with is the anxiety that arises, and the physical impact this has on your body.

It leaves you on high alert constantly, and as you find yourself moving into certain situations it escalates, causing physical, emotional and mental anguish that has a lasting effect on your ability to feel safe - even years after you have gotten out.

Yoga is a way of bringing you back to yourself, allowing you to feel grounded even when everything else feels unpredictable.

It can seem intimidating, but the reality is, it doesn't need to be. Perfect poses and long sessions are not necessary to feel a change.

It can be as little as one stretch, one breath and one single moment where you allow your body to feel kindness, love and respect instead of fear and panic.

If you are being silenced, yoga allows you to listen to yourself again and take back some control, even if its just for a short while.

From a physical point of view, the benefits are huge, but from an emotional point of view, its essential. The slow, precise focus required for the movement silences the noise in your mind while the stretching helps to remove the tension in your muscles.

Yoga is a reminder that you deserve peace and that your peace is sacred.

Reading quietly - Why It Matters

Abuse creates an almost blinkered reality that can feel impossible to escape from with

noise often filling the void and leaving very little peace.

Criticism, shouting and silence that can be louder and more stressful than anything imaginable creates an almost impossible environment, but within the pages of a book, you can find quiet, escape and a world where anything is possible.

Whatever your genre, whether it be fact or fiction, life completely changes when you slip through that door to whatever world you have chosen to become part of - even just for a brief period of time.

Reading not only quietens the mind, but it allows you to reconnect with the parts of you that may feel lost as a result of your current situation.

Whether its a novel, a self-help book, poetry or a story you have read a hundred times, it gently reminds you that within you is someone who is curious, imaginative, hopeful and a dreamer.

If your outside world is controlled, reading will take you to new ones full of infinite possibility. Worlds where anything can happen if you can only just believe.

The reality is, reading restores the faith that life can be better than it seems.

It restores the stillness and the quiet, if only for a short while, and it reminds you that you have choice. The choice as to what you allow into your mind, and that if you choose to, you can be so much more than you are going through.

Journalling - Why It Matters

Part of the insidious nature of abuse lies in its ability to change your perception not only of the outside world, but also your inner world.

Who you are can become extremely distorted amongst the name calling, the derogatory terms, the physical abuse and the confusion.

That confusion is a huge part of how your abuser keeps their control, and if you have some way of untangling those knots and remindng yourself that you aren't who they are trying to make you believe you are, that is an incredibly powerful thing to have.

The important thing to remember is that journalling is not about writing something that is perfect. Its about writing your thoughts and your feelings as they come to you in a space that is safe without judgement or fear.

Journalling allows you to make sense of the chaos that surrounds you. It helps you to remember the truth when someone is attempting to manipulate or gaslight you, and it reiterates that you have a voice that deserves not only to be remembered but to be heard.

It can be messy, angry, tired and stained with tears but it can also be hope, faith and resilience that maybe, just maybe you had forgotten you had.

Whatever comes from those words - that is your truth, your energy, your reality and your memories. No matter who tries to destroy you, those words on that paper will never take that away.

It belongs to you.

Journalling is not just about telling your story. Its so much more than that and even in your darkest moments, its a reminder you never stopped speaking - if only to yourself.