Gaslighting Broke Me — But I Found My Way Back

Gaslighting: Definitions from Oxford Languages

gaslight

/ˈɡaslʌɪt/

verb

gerund or present participle: gaslighting

manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.

"in the first episode, Karen Valentine is being gaslighted by her husband"

Gaslighting ties you up in knots and leaves you confused

There was a time when I questioned everything.

Maybe I really was too sensitive.

Maybe I was remembering things wrong.

Maybe I was overdramatizing it, and the truth was much smaller than my mind was making it out to be.

Or maybe—just maybe—I was being gaslit.

Maybe I was so twisted in knots that I started believing I really was losing it.

Gaslighting is one of the most insidious forms of abuse. It doesn’t come with bruises or shouting. Instead, it creeps quietly into your mind, until you’re no longer sure what’s real.

It’s a form of control that leaves you confused, lost, and constantly questioning everything—even yourself.

It Starts Small

No yelling. No violence.

Just subtle digs. Shrugged-off comments. Jokes that sting a little too much.

Small corrections of events you know happened—but you’re told, again and again,

“You’re remembering it wrong.”

And because you trust them, you start to believe them.

But that means you’re wrong.

And something deep inside whispers that’s not true.

You try to speak up—but they shoot you down:

• “Don’t be so sensitive.”

• “You’re crazy.”

• “You know that’s not what I said.”

  
  

The more you hear it, the more you doubt yourself. And slowly, you begin to disappear.

The Deeper You Sink

You second-guess everything—your words, your tone, even your facial expressions.

You feel like you’re constantly doing something wrong, even when you can’t figure out what it is. So, you apologize. Constantly.

Even when it isn’t your fault because deep down, the gaslighting has planted a seed:

“It’s always your fault.”

You might even joke about it:

“It’s always me.” But it’s not a joke.You’ve been made to believe it.

Gaslighting is mental torture.

It leaves you feeling small. Powerless. Uncertain.

It tears at your confidence.

It isolates you.

It leaves you afraid of saying or doing anything at all.

You start to shut down,trapped in a fog of anxiety and overthinking.

And the worst part?You blame yourself.

I Know This Intimately

For a long time, gaslighting was a part of my life. Even now, its echoes still show up.

But let me say this clearly:

You are NOT crazy.

Say it again:

YOU. ARE. NOT. CRAZY.

You are not too emotional.

You are not too dramatic.

You are not broken or damaged, and you do not deserve what’s happening to you.

So How Do You Get Out?

It begins small—just like the gaslighting did.

1. Write Everything Down

Write your reality. Your words. Your feelings.

Document what happened—just for you.

You’ll start to see patterns, cycles, and how your voice is being twisted.

2. Allow Yourself to Feel

Let the emotions come—anger, confusion, grief, pain. Don’t suppress them. They’re part of your healing.

Pain that is buried becomes toxic. Let yourself feel so you can finally start to heal.

3. Stop Apologizing

You do not have to say sorry for how you feel. You’re allowed to be hurt. You’re allowed to feel.

Never apologize for someone else’s impact on you.

4. Create Space

Even a little bit.

Go for a walk.

Turn off your phone.

Step away and breathe.

That space can help you begin to see what’s true—and what isn’t.

5. Reach Out

Talk to people who know you.

Let them remind you of who you were before this. Let them listen. Let them love you.

And if you need more support, reach out to professionals or abuse support services.You are not alone.

(If you’re not sure where to begin, check out our Resources page or contact us directly. We’re here to help.)

6. Rebuild, Rebuild, Rebuild

You are worthy of love that doesn’t hurt.

You are worthy of peace, joy, and trust in yourself.

You are worthy of a life that nourishes your soul.

It takes time. Some days will feel heavy. Others will feel like breakthroughs.

But step by step, it gets easier.

You Can Get Yourself Back

Gaslighting steals so much but it doesn’t get to keep you.

You can come back to yourself—stronger, wiser, and more grounded than ever before.

And if you’re reading this and recognizing your story in ours, we want you to know:

We see you. We believe you. And we are rooting for you—always.