Living in Fear: How Stalking Impacts Lives and the Charity Leading Change

Updated: Apr 23

Its National Stalking Week this week, and although this is a huge topic and certainly not something you can cover in one blog, we wanted to touch on some of what goes on because the reality is, stalking is lifechanging for the survivor, gravely misunderstood by many and devastating in its control.

For many victims, it begins subtly — a few unwanted messages, a chance encounter, or a suspicious coincidence.

From there, it can very quickly escalate into a terrifying pattern of fear, control, and isolation which isn’t just uncomfortable — it’s life-altering.

Affecting your mental health, your ability to work and even your relationships with loved ones, the fear that goes along with stalking can leave you in pieces - emotionally unable to cope with everyday life and terrified to do anything.

“He never touched me, but he destroyed my sense of peace. That’s what stalking does — it wears you down, silently.”— Survivor testimony shared with Women’s Aid

So, What is Stalking?

In the UK, stalking is now recognised as a serious criminal offence.

Defined as a pattern of unwanted, fixated and obsessive behaviour that causes alarm, distress, or fear for safety, the numbers are startling - affecting 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men in the UK during their lifetime.

Common stalking behaviours include:

Repeated calls, texts, or online messages
Following someone or watching them
Turning up uninvited to places - for example - the gym, work, a social event, someone's home.
Tracking someone using GPS or apps
Cyberstalking via fake profiles or hacking
Sending unwanted gifts or letters
Making threats or spreading false information.

Although the physical presence of a stalker can feel incredibly threatening, the insidious nature of this heinous crime can also leave you emotionally destroyed, not feeling safe anywhere and terrified of constantly being watched.

You find yourself living on high alert with every single knock, every phone call and every message feeling like a threat.

The lasting affects of the trauma caused can also leave you struggling long after the stalking stops.

Many survivors experience ongoing anxiety around the most basic of activities.

They end up living with depression, panic, PTSD and an uncontrollable fear of being in alone in public which can take years to gain control of, if you ever manage to.

“Even after he was arrested, I still looked over my shoulder. Stalking doesn’t end when they stop — it lives in your nervous system.”— From a trauma-informed interview in The Guardian

“I stopped going to work. I couldn’t sleep. I moved twice. No one should have to live like this.”— Anonymous UK stalking survivor

The Suzy Lamplugh Trust: Leading the Fight Against Stalking in the UK

Suzy Lamplugh went missing in 1986 after attending a house showing. She was never found and is beleived to have been killed by a stalker. — Suzy Lamplugh went missing in 1986. She was never found but was believed to be a victim of stalking.

In 1986, after the disappearance of estate agent Suzy Lamplugh, The Suzy Lamplugh Trust was established with the aim to reduce the risk of abuse, aggression and violence with a specific focus on stalking and harassment.

It is the UK’s leading charity for personal safety and the prevention of stalking, and has campaigned tirelessly to educate people on how to stay safe.

Unfortunately, Suzy's body was never found, but it was believed that she had been abducted and murdered by a stalker. She was eventually declared legally dead seven years after her disappearance in 1993, but the work to protect other survivors continues on, leaving an incredible legacy in her name.

Their work includes:

Operating the National Stalking Helpline 📞 0808 802 0300
Providing support for stalking victims across the UK
Campaigning for stronger legislation and protections
Offering training on stalking awareness to professionals and organisations
Promoting Stalking Awareness Week every April

Thanks to their efforts, Stalking Protection Orders (SPOs) were introduced in 2020, offering quicker, court-ordered protection for victims.

“We exist to help people feel safe — in their homes, at work, and online. Everyone deserves to live free from fear.”— Suzy Lamplugh Trust

👉 Learn more or donate to their work here

Help for Stalking Victims: What Can You Do?

If you think you are being stalked, trust your instincts. Stalking is a crime, and there is support available.

You are not overreacting.

There are steps you can take if you are being stalked.

Document every incident (texts, photos, emails, sightings).
Do not engage with the stalker.
Tell someone you trust.
Contact the National Stalking Helpline.
Report the stalking to the police.
Reach out to support services for stalking victims in your area.

You can also find help via the following links:

Stalking in the UK continues to be one of the most severely underreported and misunderstood crimes, often minimised or dismissed by the very people who should be supporting you.

Everyone suffering from this deserves to heard, believed and protected.

Whether you are someone with personal experience of this crime, or someone who just wants to try and raise awareness, your voice really does matter.

We all have to keep talking.

We all have to keep supporting.

We all have a responsibility to help those around us live a life not dictated by fear.

Lets all #shatterthesilence around stalking.